A Pictorial Summary of the Last Three Months

How do you like my fancy title? I thought it sounded more "studious" than "Recent Pictures". Maybe all the essay writing I've been forced to do is actually helping...

Seriously, here's what you've missed from September to December (in a nutshell) while I was off with my nose in the books:

Jake's 9th birthday. Those are supposed to be light sabers -- not my best work, but made with all my love! He had 5 friends over for a birthday sleepover. It was insane. Never again.

Michael's first middle school dance! He was so, SO excited. He's wearing a very cool black hat, but you can't tell because of the black door he's standing in front of. He had a great time and even wowed the crowd with his breakdancing moves. I can't believe he's old enough to be going to dances.

Michael earned 5 merit badges at camp last summer: Rifle Shooting, Photography, Videography, Fingerprinting, and Wood Carving. He's advanced rank once this year and is about to again - by mid-February he'll start working on his Star Scout rank, with just Life Scout and Eagle Scout after that.

Halloween

For those of you that haven't kept up with Star Wars since your childhood, Jake is Darth Maul. He looks so short because he's in his socks and Michael has shoes with wheels on, making him taller than usual.

Michael was such a disturbing Joker that I had to show you a close up. I could scarcely look at him. And the second we would make eye contact, he'd give me that disturbed look and say, "Why so serious?" Serious is right: seriously creepy.

Jake and I camped out with the Cub Scouts in November, trying out one of our new high-quality tents and my "princess pad" (a self inflating mattress pad from REI - the thickest they make). I'm not sure what skill he's working on in this picture; maybe learning how to lasso camels?

Michael took a Drama and an Improv class last semester at school. He has found his niche! This is a still shot of one of the skits the classes did. He performed his part with a perfect British accent. Talk about a natural performer...

We took a Mediterranean Cruise in November. One of the stops was Rome. I hate this street side picture of the Colosseum, but we didn't get a lot of good shots there that day. We were also disappointed that we weren't able to go inside, but we hope to go back some day. You can't see all of Rome in one day!

Venice was beautiful and fun! I can definitely see Steve and I returning there some day without the kids.

We found the most interesting market in Barcelona. It was large, lively and full of the freshest produce I've seen outside of Pike Place Market (and a farm). Our very favorite thing in Barcelona.

The kids loved exploring this old castle in Lisbon. We happened to be in the city at the same time as a NATO conference, which made traffic patterns interesting. Sadly, we did not get to catch a glimpse of President Obama. Regardless of one's political beliefs, things like presidential sightings or even little things like seeing our flag flying over the consulate are a thrill when you live overseas.

The picture collection from the cruise would not be complete without this one. How fun! I believe this was just after we got off the ship in Naples.

Speaking of Naples, the boys' absolute favorite stop on the cruise was there, where we hiked up to the crater of Mt. Vesuvius, famous for the eruption in 79 AD that covered Pompeii. It's still steaming! It last erupted in 1942.

We also saw Pompeii that day - very, very cool.

Moving on from the cruise...We had a shmal rather early this year (if you've forgotten what a shmal is, you can refresh your memory here). In this picture, Michael models the latest fashion in shmal gear:

There's no shortage of interesting Michael pictures, is there? He put in some service hours for Boy Scouts in December, helping out with a Mom's Morning Out. They worked on crafts and played games with smaller kids. I believe he is an Elf Helper. An old Elf Helper? Not sure what's up with the beard, but if you look closely you'll see jingle bells on his shoes.

Christmas Eve - in their new Christmas pajamas. We wanted an intimate, family orientated Christmas this year and got more than we bargained for when the internet went down and we had no way to call home.

Catching a Christmas day nap. Who says Santa doesn't bring presents for Dads??

Christmas dinner menu: Prime Rib, roasted asparagus, carrots, mashed potatoes and homemade rolls. Oh my, was it tasty!

Loving the Drops

It's raining this morning! It looks like it rained all night. The gray dreary sky puts me in such a happy mood this morning!

As a Pacific Northwest girl straight to the bone, I can complain about the rain with the best of them. I know what it's like to not see the sun for weeks - only gray skies and rain. And I'm not talking about downpours. That type of rain comes, dumps, and moves on -- leaving blue skies. The Northwest type of rain lingers for days, just a bit more than a light mist. Little drops coming down constantly: drizzle. You begin to wonder if the clouds will ever lift or if the gray sky is it, the beginning of the end.

But moving into the desert where we get less than three inches of rain each year makes me miss the rain like I NEVER thought I would. There's just something about looking out at the solid gray sky, seeing the drops of rain in puddles, and feeling the moisture on my cheeks as I walk to the car that goes straight to my soul and makes me feel at home.

Not everyone in my family feels the same way about this liquid joy. The kids came home at lunch and told me that they had indoor recess this morning. I asked why. Jake responded, "because if we went outside, we'd get WET," and then he stared at me in such way that I knew without a doubt a silent "duh" was placed at the end of that statement. I stared right back, speechlessly. My kids will play outside for hours at the park in 110+ degree heat, only coming in on my command for sunscreen and water, but they can't get WET?

It's starting to rain harder. I probably have more to say about this, but I really want to go outside now.

Should it be a Surprise?

Fate leads the willing, and drags along the reluctant.

-Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Those of you who have know us for our 21+ years of marriage know that you never, EVER write our address in ink. It's just bad judgment.

We were just remarking the other day that we've lived in Saudi for a longer time than we lived in Michigan. I really ought to know better than to tempt fate that way. No, we're NOT moving. But fate apparently thinks we OUGHT TO BE and is determined to punish us, along with those who used ink for our address...

The mail service we use in Florida is moving to a new address, so apparently WE now have a new address too. It's actually the easiest move I've ever made. No boxes required. But we've found that one of the worst parts of frequent moving isn't the packing and unpacking; it's losing touch with friends.

And one thing we really look forward to every year is getting Christmas cards from our friends and family. Even those long brag letters (they're actually my favorite). When we get our mail containing a stack of cards, I gather up every bit of control I possess to wait for Steve to come home. Then we make a couple cups of joe and dive into the cards together. And every time we move, the pile gets smaller as someone invariably doesn't have our new address or number. Sniff.

I think we'll probably send out a change of address card to friends and family, something similar to a Christmas card, using our Christmas card address list (so if you don't currently get a card from us, please let me know if you want our new mailing address). Our email address and phone number will be staying the same.

Get those erasers ready.

How Much is My Time Worth?

I'm one week into my 7th, 8th and 9th online classes now and just finished up going through the syllabi, schedules and assignments. One common thread amongst all of them has been the "introduce yourself" on the discussion board assignment. I really dislike that assignment. The classes range from around 50-100 students, and reading through all of their introductions is tedious, time consuming, and time wasting. Occasionally I'll recognize a name from a previous class, invariably someone with whom I vehemently disagreed. That always makes things interesting for a brief, uncomfortable moment. But when my eyes are glazed over at the end of the day I forget who is who and frankly, don't really care.

Steve always asks me, every semester, why I take the time to read each one. I've wondered the same thing myself. There's really no way to select all and mark all as "read," like you would in an email inbox, so I have to open each one. I might as well at least scan it for something interesting while I have it open. And in my economics class this semester, my professor responded to each and every post, carrying on conversations in some of the threads. You just never know what important tidbit of information you'll miss if you don't read those. And if HE can read and respond to all those, surely I can too.

But the real reason I read each one is that I do walk away from the assignment with something hugely valuable, something that I'm sure is a completely unintended effect of the avalanche of introductions: perspective.

Perspective. Just typing that word makes me squirm. It means an uncomfortable reset of my way of thinking and the way I view my circumstances. The acknowledgment that I wasn't looking at life the way I ought to be. And in many cases, the lowering of my pride.

I get a lot of encouraging comments from friends about my efforts to finish this degree at this time in my life, as well as compliments on my ability to balance being a wife and mom at the same time I'm carrying three university classes. While I really appreciate the support, ultimately it grows my ego and blurs my perspective. Take at look at some these introductions:

My name is ____ and I am a 34 year old returning student. I have two children (six and nine) and work as a tech in a pharmacy....But, with a full time job and single fatherhood, very little options for studying in a classroom setting. Right now, this works best for me. There are some nights when I might not be able to start my "class" until 10p.m.

I'm a single mom to an adorable almost 7-year-old daughter!...

I am married with two small kids and I work full time...

My name is ______ and I am active duty Air Force...

I'm a single mother of 3 sons not by choice but by the infidelity of my soon-to-be ex-husband...

...my 70 hour work weeks only permit me to take online classes...

...I am married and I have 4 children (ages 4, 3, 1, 2 months). My family takes priority to my schooling, so I’ve had to take some time off here & there. My oldest daughter has major medical concerns, but I hope to be able to finish the two classes I am scheduled to take this semester...

...my daughter is a Daisy in Girl Scouts for which I am the Troop leader...Besides Scouts and Full-time school, I work approximately 35 hours a week as a receptionist for an electrical supply store...

I am a 27 year old accounting major and am taking both microeconomics and macroeconomics this semester along with Finite math, Biology 140 and Poly Sci...(my note: that's FIVE CLASSES folks!)

And here's what my introduction read:

My name is LaLani Green and I’m a returning student living overseas with my family. My husband works for an oil company in the Eastern Province of Saudi, where we live on a large compound (a city really, with 12,000+ residents) with our 2 sons, ages 9 & 12. I enjoy traveling (last year we spent 2 weeks in China and took a 10 day Mediterranean cruise), shopping, reading, and being active with my boys. My husband and I are both from Western Washington and really miss the mountains and good tasting water, among many other things.

What I left out of that was:

• I have someone who comes 5 mornings a week to clean my house, do laundry, clean the patio furniture, wash the car, and pretty much anything else I need him to do.

• I have a cook who comes every other week for four hours that makes homemade burritos, calzones, scones, cinnamon rolls, dinner rolls and pretty much anything else I want him to make.

• My husband works a straight 40 hours a week and is home by 4:15 nearly every day - no weekends.

• My family is incredibly healthy

Get the picture?

Reading through all those introductions is not my favorite thing to do, but honestly I wouldn't consider NOT reading them. I walk away (three hours later) with a ton of respect for my classmates and a renewed thankfulness for the blessings in my life. How can I truly consider that a waste of time? You can't put a price on good, healthy perspective.

If At First You Don't Succeed...

...try, try again!

Remember this:

"I'm setting a goal of writing one blog posting each week - we'll see how that goes. I think it's reasonable and attainable."

I figure there's a couple of ways to look at this situation. Either I set my goal too high, or I just need to dust myself off, get up and try again. Being a glass-half-full kind of gal, I'm going to try again!

My semester runs from January 10th until the first week of May, with a week off for spring break (that unfortunately doesn't coincide with the boys' THREE week break!). On the slate to be attacked this time are Business Law, Statistics and Macroeconomics. I received good marks from both Steve and WSU for last semester for balancing family life with my coursework. Let's see if I can successfully add the blog back into the mix...

School Daze

School started this week for the boys - Michael's first day of middle school (6th grade) and Jake's first day of 3rd grade was Saturday. I can't pretend that there wasn't a healthy dose of apprehension on both of their parts, but by the end of the day, by lunchtime really, they were all smiles.

My classes started on August 23rd, so I've actually been back at the grind for over a week now. I'm setting a goal of writing one blog posting each week - we'll see how that goes. I think it's reasonable and attainable. It's actually part of a larger goal called "school/life balance." I'll keep you "posted" on how it's going...

Here's the traditional first day of school pictures. I had to take them inside because it was so insanely humid that I couldn't keep the camera from fogging up.

The Great Wall - China Part 4

There are some places in this world you can visit over and over, and still want to go back again. The Great Wall of China is one of those places for the Green Family. I think I have been there five times and Steve six, and given the choice we'd go again. It's just THAT cool.

That being said, we are very particular about where we go to see the Great Wall. Keep in mind that the wall is about 5,500 miles long (though not all connected), so there are many, many places one could go to visit. The first couple times we went, we didn't know any better and just went where *they* wanted to take us. *They* being our handlers. The handlers like to take you to the restored, polished part of the wall. I don't know if it's because they get kick-backs there, or if they are proud of the "upgrades," or if we are just easier to *handle* there. When we first went to this part in 1990, they had camels there to have your picture taken with, hand railings on the steep parts, and souvenir shops outside the ticket gates. Today, in addition to all that there's a dress-up photo op every 100 feet, cable cars to take you up and McDonald's outside the gates. It's pretty hard to imagine what the wall was like 2,000 years ago at this tourist trap.

The wall was built 2,000 years ago? This sounds like the perfect place to give you a small bite of history. Construction of the Wall began during the reign of Qin Shi Huang, the first emperor of China, who took the throne in the 3rd century BC. It's intention was to keep out the people from the north, the Xiongnu. It's estimated that over 1,000,000 workers died while building the wall, and rumored that many are buried within the wall. Originally made of rammed earth, stones and wood, later dynasties continued the construction using bricks.

And just to clear the air...can it really been seen from the moon? I haven't tried it myself (it's on my bucket list though), but experts say that it is virtually impossible to see by the naked eye, the equivalent of seeing a human hair from two miles away. Additionally, no astronaut has ever claimed seeing it from orbit, much less from the moon. Believe what you want...

Back to our hike...after we had lived in China a while and no longer needed *handlers*, we discovered a much better place to see the wall. This portion is still to this day mostly unrestored, un-commercialized, and best of all, not overrun with tourists. After a three and a half hour drive, you are dropped off at a point on the wall and you hike on the wall about 12 km to the pickup point.

Now that we no longer live in China and can't go to the wall whenever we please, we were hoping for a bit of luck that day. We really wanted good weather: not only were we NOT in the mood to hike 12 km in the rain, but we really wanted the good views. We were hoping that the kids, after getting off a 10 hour flight the day before, would be able to make the hike. And the biggest roll of the dice was that it would be as spectacular and fun as we hyped it up to be. At the end of the day, we couldn't have been more delighted at the way it all turned out.

But as the day began we were a bit worried...

We were picked up from our hotel in a tiny Chinese mini-van. It won't work to picture a regular mini-van: I think this was made for people shorter than Jake. There was about 6 inches between the uncomfortable bench seat and the back of the next seat. None of us could sit facing forward - we had to turn sideways to be able to put our legs down. "No worry," said the driver. "We transfer to big tour bus." We made 3-4 more stops, picking up hikers until the little sardine can was full. Then we waited for the big bus to come. And we waited. Waited some more...

Finally we were told that the bus was broken and we would have to drive the 3 hours to the wall in the sardine can. Through my tears I couldn't help but smile: you can't get a more Chinese experience than this.

Once we arrived at the drop-off point, Jin Shan Ling, we pried ourselves from the can and stepped out with a bit of shock. There was a paved road, signs welcoming us and a couple tables of vendors to welcome our USD (I mean welcome us). Clearly the area was profiting from increased tourism since we were there in 1999. Still no cable car, camels or McDonalds though, so we were good.

Crisp, cold air greeted us as we began the hike, and we had clear blue skies for most of the day. The kids were pretty chilly starting out, until we started the serious up and down between the watch towers. The amazement of actually being on the wall was written all over the boys' faces. For Michael, it was a fulfillment of a dream to return to a place that his parent fondly told him about but he couldn't remember visiting. For Jacob, it was simply the fact that he was standing on GREAT WALL OF CHINA, built over 2000 years ago - something he had read about in Magic Tree House books but never dreamed he would get to do (unless he could get to Frog Creek, Pennsylvania).

After we had been hiking for about half an hour, we began to notice a couple of friendly faces sticking close by us. Then they began to assist the kids when going up the stairs. Eventually they were holding the kids' hands while they were going over treacherous places. Before we knew it, they were stuck to us like kittens to bowls of milk. Friendly locals, looking to practice their English? No. Helpful fellow tourists? No. We figured it out pretty quickly during our first break. The packs over their shoulders were not filled with lunches, water bottles or other necessities. They were bulging with post cards and cheaply printed t-shirts that said, "I climbed the Great Wall." And whenever we stopped, they turned their sights on the guy with the wallet. After helping the kids for an hour, how could Steve brush them off? Let's just say that we have a couple of really expensive t-shirts in our drawers.

Four hours later, we got to the

end of the hike (not the end of the wall, mind you) and found a very cool new addition: a zip line! Thankfully it was NOT 2,000 years old! To their unspeakable dismay boys weren't allowed to go alone, so we had to team up. It was the perfect end to one of the most memorable days we've ever spent as a family. In the picture to the right you can't see the smile on Jake's face but trust me, it was HUGE.

On the bus ride back into Beijing (and it should be noted that the "big" bus was working beautifully by then) the three boys slept. Even though I was completely exhausted, I couldn't stop reflecting on the day we had. The weather was perfect. The views were amazing. The kids were troopers and loved nearly every minute of it.

Yep. I'd go back again. It's just THAT cool.

VERY Miscellaneous Thoughts on Water

Water, like religion and ideology, has the power to move millions of people. Since the very birth of human civilization, people have moved to settle close to it. People move when there is too little of it. People move when there is too much of it. People journey down it. People write, sing and dance about it.

People fight over it. And all people, everywhere and every day, need it. --Mikhail Gorbachev

I've never taken the time to stop and contemplate water - aside from those who probably contemplate their hands too, who has? Growing up in the foothills of the Cascade Mountains, it was something I have always taken for granted as being potable, endless and relatively cheap. But in most parts of the world none of these adjectives could be used to describe water, and living in the Middle East this last year has made me keenly aware of this fact.

Water has an impact on countless aspects of my life here and I've been forced to think about it more than ever before. When reaching for a cup of water to make ramen noodles, I have to stop and think about which water I'm reaching for. Depending on the time of the year, it's impossible to wash clothes in cold water. I need to think about where I'm parking the car, because if the sprinklers come on and spray it, it will rust the car. I don't want to leave a metal pan that has scratches in it soaking in tap water because it will rust as well. I have to remind the boys to keep the toilet lid up so that I don't get a wet bum when I sit down. I could go on...

Within the house we basically have three types: raw water, sweet water, and bottled water. In addition to that, the outdoor faucets have untreated raw water. The indoor raw water is what you will find in my kitchen, the bathrooms, the washing machine. In addition to being very hard, it also has a very high salt content. It makes our hair dull, our clothes wear out faster and rusts anything metal, including the razor in the shower, at a rapid rate. We use this water for washing, but NEVER drink it. I don't think it will hurt us, but it tastes NASTY!

Sweet water is only plumbed to the kitchen sink and the dishwasher (it does the final rinse in sweet water). It's further treated than the raw water. We mostly use it for rinsing hand-washed dishes that are going to air-dry, washing vegetables, washing the car and watering the plants. Though it's not as bad as raw water, it still doesn't taste good and none of us drink it.

We buy a couple of different kinds of bottled water for cooking and drinking: we have a large water cooler, similar to what you find in offices, with hot and cold tap. We also buy liter bottles of water to take upstairs for brushing our teeth.

The outside water is the worst of all. It's untreated and leaves weird salt-like patterns on our bricks. I don't know exactly what is in it and quite honestly, I don't want to know (ignorance is bliss, right?). I tell the kids not touch it if possible. It's only used for watering the lawn, washing our cement, and filling water balloons. They say that it's recycled waste water (whatever that means ), which is just another reason not to let it touch your skin!

In the past I've always washed most of our clothes on cold water. And I never questioned the availability of cold water - isn't all water cold, unless it's heated by the water heater? I now live in a climate that is hot enough to heat the ground water to fairly warm in the summer. Only in Dec/Jan/Feb am I able to get cold water in my washing machine. A friend of mine had something in October that absolutely need to be washed in cold, so she got a couple bags of ice from the store and dumped them into the water of the washing machine tub. Doesn't living here inspire creativity?

In the fall when it still blistering hot and then the humidity starts rolling in, we often wake up unable to see out due to the condensation on the windows. The severity reminds me of the bathroom mirror when the boys shower without turning on the fan. It's a sure indication that it's going to be a miserable weather day.

Speaking of condensation, the ultra warm ground water is the cause of the wet toilet seat problem that I've mentioned before. If we leave the lid down, something I finally trained everyone to do, the water condensates onto the seat. And if you sit there long enough (as some newspaper/comic book toting members of our family routinely do), it condensates on your bottom. Yuck!

I'm very much aware that despite all the above mentioned gripes about the inconveniences of water here, I have it better than most people in the world. I could drink my tap water (if I chose to) and bathe in it every day without getting sick . I don't have to walk anywhere to get it - it's just plumbed into my house. I don't pay for it (though Aramco does). I am among the fortunate minority in this world, and for that I am grateful.

Clean, drinkable water is scarce and expensive in many parts of the world, including this one. We live in a desert with very little rain, so the water supply comes from very deep reservoirs. This water has incredibly high amounts of salt and needs to be desalinated to be usable, quite an expensive process. There are land disputes over water and countries have gone to war because of it. In fact water seems to be more scarce than gasoline here, or at least one would assume by the price - we pay more for bottled water than we do for gas.

Enough of my ramblings...here are some of my favorite quotes about water:

I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
Steven Wright


My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Mitch Hedberg


Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water!
Eleanor Roosevelt

"If we could ever competitively, at a cheap rate, get fresh water from saltwater, ..(this) would be in the long-range interests of humanity which could really dwarf any other scientific accomplishments."
-- John F. Kennedy

I Can't Count

I just noticed that my posts went from China part 1 straight to China part 3. If you noticed as well, don't worry - you didn't miss part 2. I just can't count.

Beijing Family United Hospital - China part 3

Beijing, China - May 17, 1999.

The evening started out like any other night. Steve and I lazily watched a bit of CNN and went to bed early. The rioting in Beijing, the Chinese response to the “accidental” bombing of their embassy in Yugoslavia by the US military, had settled down by then. Though our first child was due in twelve days, we knew that more than likely he/she would probably be late and hadn't packed our hospital bag yet. Steve’s mom was scheduled to arrive in less than a week for the birth.

Around 2:30 am I made a routine trip to the bathroom only to find that my water had broke. Sixteen long hours later, Michael Thomas Green robustly entered the world.

Michael has always had difficulty convincing his friends that he was born in China. Kids used to think he was making it up because he didn't look Chinese. Now they just think he's trying to get attention. More than once I've written and signed a note, attesting to the fact that indeed, he was born in China.

When we planned the trip to China this spring, we asked the kids where they really wanted to go. Beijing United Family Hospital was on Michael's list of destinations. It was almost as if he needed convincing himself.

Finding the hospital in a city that has grown out, up and increased by three million people since we left in 2000 was no easy task. As we remembered the hospital building, it stood alone on the outskirts of town. Today, it’s dwarfed and shrouded by skyscrapers on all sides, nearly undetectable from the street. It took two trips to finally find it.

You can’t just walk into a hospital, stand in the middle of the lobby for 10 minutes being hugged repeatedly by your eleven year old and NOT arouse suspicion. It certainly didn’t take long for a hospital worker to ask if we “needed any help.” To Michael’s extreme embarrassment, we explained that he had been born in Beijing and always wanted to see the hospital.

Judging by the reaction of the hospital representative this was not a common occurrence. She warmly welcomed Michael, which he took as an invitation to hug HER repeatedly too. And as it always does, no matter what country we are in, Michael's hugs melted away walls and opened doors for him. She offered to give him a tour of the hospital, including a private viewing of a labor/delivery/recovery room identical to the one we were originally in.

More hugs. You would have thought he won the lottery. Seriously.

And that wasn’t all. As we were saying goodbye the representative disappeared for a moment, returning with a stuffed bear. It was a Build-a-Bear style bear: soft, squishy and dressed in white scrubs which bore the Beijing United Family Hospital logo. She gave the bear to Michael, which resulted in…you guessed it: more hugs!

The bear now has a place of honor on his bed, right next to the little stuffed BUFH elephant that the hospital gave us eleven years ago. The other sites we went to…the Great Wall, Tiananmen Square, the Panda Preserve, etc…were exciting and interesting but nowhere near as memorable for Michael as seeing the place where it all began for him.

Reflecting on our Second Year in Saudi

As always, I intended on posting this weeks ago before leaving Saudi but ran out of time. I'm so glad you all are patient people!

Instead I'm typing from the deck of a lovely house in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina. As I gaze at the peek-a-boo view of the mountains through the tall trees, a cool breeze brushes lightly over my face and the sun gently warms my feet. The air smells clean and fresh and I can hear the water rushing over the rocks of a nearby water fall. Born and raised in the foothills of the Cascade Mountains, I'm a mountain girl to the core. I just can't help setting my scene for you...

But back to the desert...This year seemed to go by much faster than the first, and the differences didn't end there. The boys started the school year confident and ready to see their friends again. They ended the school year successful and proud of their hard work. I not only conquered the fear of online classes, but also completed 2 difficult math classes and a world history class this spring.

In a nutshell this year was just more settled. Everyone felt at ease with our new community, made good friends and relaxed in the lifestyle. Let me tell you - it was a welcome change from that horrible year of transition.

The question I'm getting asked most this summer, (after "do you have to wear that black thing over your face," which I'm certain I answered last year as well) is whether we still like it there. Overwhelmingly the answer is YES. The things we love the most are, mostly in order: Steve's strict 7am -4pm (five days/week) workweek / family time, the travel opportunities, the close knit community, the good schools, the money of course, the expat lifestyle, and the amazing weather 8 months out of the year. The boys are flourishing in school, I'm hitting a groove with my decades-old quest for a BA degree, and Steve..., well he just loves that the rest of us are happy, as well as the year-round golfing opportunities.

The downsides of living in Saudi still exist: the unbearable heat during the summer, the relatively narrow variety of goods (though it's improving slowly all the time), the oppressive Saudi culture outside the compound, etc. But I can't emphasize enough how little these things matter to us when we put it all in perspective at the end of the day.

The next question is generally, "...how long do you plan to be there?" This is a job for Steve, not an assignment (thanks for the definition, Lisa). We can be here until 2026, at which time Steve will be turning 60, the mandatory retirement age. We basically approach our life here on a day-by-day basis. Let's face it, political stability in the region is absolutely crucial. We have no illusions about the fact that things can turn and if they do, we will be done.

We haven't nailed down a definite time frame. I think we are realistic and flexible enough to go with the flow - and thankfully we both have the exact same frame of mind. If you really want to press me on it, our general plan is to finish up this stage of our life in Saudi, possibly another 9-10 years. Jake will be entering college at that point and it seems to work out on paper. We love living here and all the lifestyle benefits it brings. We honestly can't find a reason to stop until the bad starts outweighing the good...hopefully later rather than sooner.

Michael's 11th Birthday

Here's just a quick shout out to Michael who had a birthday over a month ago. He wanted everyone to see his cake, and since he didn't have a birthday party I thought I would oblige him.

Yes, you read that right: Michael didn't have a birthday party. It killed me. If you know me at all, you know that I love birthday parties - especially themed ones. I love birthday parties so much that we celebrate the kids' half birthdays (though only with a half-cake, half candles and just one gift: get the theme?).

My Grandma Keck also loved birthdays. It didn't matter how old anyone in the family was, we got together at her house for cake, ice cream, and a horribly out-of-tune rendition of the birthday song.

Sometimes we couldn't manage to meet until a couple weeks after the actual birthday. It didn't matter. Sometimes it was just Grandma, Grandpa, Steve and I. It didn't matter. Most of the time gifts weren't exchanged. It didn't matter.

I didn't think much about it until I had my own little family and Grandma was only a precious memory in my heart. It was just some thing we did, but now it is a part of who I am. Birthdays matter in my home.

So when Michael told me he didn't want a birthday party this year it broke my heart. And why he didn't want one wasn't for the reasons you'd think, like maybe he thinks he's too mature for a party. It's actually quite complicated, with religious, cultural and above all, empathetic underpinnings.

Reason 1: He wouldn't be able to invite EVERYONE and he didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

Last year Michael had 5 friends over for a movie night/sleepover party. When he got back to school after the weekend, one of the boys bragged about the party. Numerous uninvited boys were hurt and likely angry that they weren't invited. We all know that it's part of life, but Michael is really sensitive and empathetic and it really bothered him. He carried that guilt around for a year and never mentioned it to anyone until I asked why he didn't want a party this year.

There's no way I'd let him invite the whole 5th grade over to our house, but since we can have free pool parties I thought we could find a way to make it work. Which led us to....

Reason 2: Michael wanted to invite boys AND girls.

We work, learn and live alongside a large number of Muslims. Many of Michael's friends are Muslims. Some of his friends are entering puberty and wouldn't be able to attend a party that had mingling of the sexes (even though they are only 11 years old). His friends would try to come anyway by lying to their parents about where they were going, and might possibly get into trouble. He didn't want to put them in that position. And going back to Reason 1, he didn't want to leave anyone out (by only inviting boys).

I'm not going to comment on other people's religious choices. I'm just so sad that it has to effect whether my son can feel good about having a birthday party. He just refused to do it because he couldn't find a way to reconcile the whole thing.

It really speaks to the kind of heart this boy has. He was completely satisfied with NO PARTY, in order to not hurt feelings or get his friends in trouble. I *love* the person he is becoming.

In the end, we got together with the Neumans, friends we known since we moved to Maryland in 2000. Heidi and Michael's birthdays are a couple days apart and they are the closest thing to family we have here. With no theme to work around, Michael asked me to surprise him this year with a special cake. This picture captured his reaction when he saw it for the first time. He loved it!