Daylight Savings Time

Happy Halloween everyone! We had a very interesting night - lots of fun - and the best part...the kids only ended up with 1/2 of their buckets full, a marked difference from last year when they came home with them literally overflowing. No one needs that much candy! I'll post some pictures tomorrow of my little goblins.

OK, a bit of business now. This weekend marks the end of Daylight Savings time - for those of you in the US. We, thankfully, aren't made to observe it here. So now, if you have been calling us on our Vonage line, the 360 area code number, this is just a reminder that you need to slightly alter what time you call if you'd like us to pick up the phone. Here is a revised guideline:

Eastern Time Zone: Please Call Before 2pm
Central Time Zone: Please Call Before 1pm
Mountain Time Zone: Please Call Before Noon
Pacific Time Zone: Please Call Before 11am
Alaskan Time Zone: Please Call Before 10am

All of the above is based on a 10pm bedtime for us. Sometimes we are very good kids and actually go to bed before then, in which case we don't answer the phone (the US line rings in our office and neither of us are willing to get out of bed to race downstairs to pick it up - sorry). It does take messages though, which we faithfully listen to and then wait until you are awake to call back.

Now, if you don't have the above mentioned 360 area code number, and would like to call us, please email me or request it in the comments and I'll email it to you. I don't really want to post the number on the web.

Hope to hear from you soon?

More of Your Questions

I really need to get back to this list of questions. By the way, have you thought of more? You can either email them to me or leave them in the comments for others to see - sometimes seeing other people's questions makes me think of my own.

1. What about homeschooling ?? Did you do that anytime while you were in the States? Aramco does not allow children on the compound to be home schooled, at least for the elementary and middle school kids - I honestly don't know about the high school kids. I never checked into it because, to answer the second part of the question, we have never home schooled. I absolutely do not have the temperament for it - I can barely hold myself together during the 30 minutes of homework every night. I might be able to teach other people's kids, if I enjoyed doing teaching that much, but do not have the patience to teach my own. I respect the choice to home school but it's not the right choice for our family.

2. Is it OK to send Christmas cards?? I believe so, though obviously I haven't tried it yet. To my knowledge they don't open our outgoing mail so I don't know how they would know if something is a Christmas card or not. DHL sends us the mail that is sent to our Florida address, and it has never been opened when we get it. Steve just mentioned that this question may mean is it OK to send US Christmas cards. Same answer though, I 'm pretty sure they don't care. I think customs is looking for booze, drugs and porn.


3. Can you get everything where you are? Nope, and I wish. Aside from the obvious no-no's like pork & alcohol, everything is hit and miss as far as supply. I'm beginning to learn what is widely available most of the time (such as eggs), where to get special things that aren't widely carried (like whole wheat pasta), and what is not available here whatsoever (my vacuum cleaner bags). Here is a portion of the list of items that we can't find here (or don't like the quality of) that Steve's parents will be bring in December when they come to stay (Oh, by the way Mom, did I tell you that you are bringing a bunch of stuff for us? :o)

Neopsorin ointment / fabric bandages
deodorant
tampons
Cub Scout uniform
single cup coffee filter
printer cartridges
chili powder / various other spices
110 volt answering machine & cordless phone
food coloring
my favorite shampoo & conditioner

4. Where do you do grocery shopping? Mostly I shop at the small grocery store here on the compound. It carries all the basic stuff we need and the produce is fairly dependable. There is a store off the compound that carries Safeway brand stuff and has good quality meats. We shop there a lot when we are having company for dinner. There are also a couple French supermarket chains here that carry odd things I can't find other places. I don't go to them very often, just when I run out of those few odd things.

5. Do American foods there taste different, i.e. Coke? I haven't noticed that the soda pop tastes any different. All the Kellogg cereal we can get that is made locally has more sugar than it's American counterpart. The Hellman's Mayo (or Best Foods for those of you on the west coast) seems whiter and thinner I think - it just seems different. The sugar is not as fine as our granulated sugar. If we buy things that have been imported from the US, they of course are exactly the same. But even at that, we bought some imported Jenni-O turkey sauage and it was weird. We think it was frozen, thawed and then refrozen or something. Yuck!

Ok...that's all I have time for today. Ted, I will still answer your questions if you still care. Have a good weekend everyone!

Racing Matt's Sailboat

We went to the beach last weekend again - gosh the weather was wonderful! It was around 90-95, dry and had a slight breeze. Just perfect! Matt was in involved in sailboat race and needed a sidekick on the boat, something Steve loves to do. So Julia and I packed up the kids, the food, the toys, the towels...and hung out on the beach with the kiddos while the guys "raced."

Have you ever given much thought to the term, "sailboat race?" I certainly hadn't. I suppose calling it a race is technically accurate - they all start from the same point and whoever gets to the finish line first wins! But when I think of "racing," I think speed. There is nothing speedy about a sailboat race. Let's just say that I'm very glad there was lots of interesting shells, fish, sand and of course swimming to keep us occupied on the shore during the "race".


To be fair, there wasn't a very strong wind that day. And I'm sure that being on the boat is much more exciting than watching it from the beach. I can say now though with complete certainty that sailboat racing is a sport my type-A personality would not enjoy. This picture to the right is the guys on the boat.


We always love playing at the beach and this morning was no exception. The boys play wonderfully with Matt & Julia's girls, Heidi (5yrs) and Amanda (2 yrs). The boys are very patient and gentle with them, and love to make the girls giggle.










Aren't they cute? I'll just end with some misc. shots of the fun - you love seeing pictures, right? Thankfully, I always have control of the camera so you won't be subjected to the horror of seeing me in my swimming suit!

How can something with a defect be so wonderful?

Warning: This is a LONG post. Make sure you have a cup o' Joe close at hand...

When we arrived in Saudi Arabia, the first thing Michael's pediatrician did was to make an appointment with a pediatric cardiologist. In addition to having a slight heart murmur and the possibility of occasional use of the Epi-pen, Michael takes some prescription medication that can affect his heart. The doctor just wanted to get a baseline EKG and echo cardiogram (ultrasound) and a holter (basically a 24 hr. EKG that you wear). We thought it was a bit over the top, but with the health care system here, expensive tests are not even blinked at and there is no reason not to get the best care you can.

The EKG we could do immediately: we walked down the hallway to the radiology area and it took all of 10 minutes. They already had the order on Michael's networked medical file and just did the test. No waiting time at all. Keeping Michael calm leading up to the test wasn't nearly so easy. He saw the wires and completely lost it. It wasn't until the technician so skillfully explained that HE would be sending signals to the machine, not the other way around, that he calmed down. The test was normal.

The appointment with the cardiologist ended up happening the 2nd day of the household goods delivery. Michael and I went by ourselves while Steve stayed home to manage the chaos. We met with the doctor first, then walked down a hall immediately afterwards to the cardiology dept. in the hospital for the test (I love how everything is close by and convenient here). This time, Michael was calmer - especially when he saw that he had his own personal tv screen above the STRYKER bed to watch cartoons on. All of the equipment was state of the art, and the 30-40 minutes of video was saved digitally to Michael's medical file on the network. The technician saved over 100 different video clips of varying views of his heart.

After the test we walked back to the cardiologist's office, and he immediately pulled Michael's file up on his computer and watched the video. Then he asked Michael if he would wait for me in the waiting area. I think it was at that moment that my own heart stopped beating and all the air was sucked out of my lungs. Michael went out, shut the door, and then unbelievably...the phone rang. The doctor took the call - I was beside myself! Thankfully the call only lasted about 3-4 minutes.

The bottom line: Michael has a couple of heart defects in the left ventricle. For those of you who will immediately leave this post and go to WebMD to read about it, the defective valves are the Mitral and the Aortic. The mitral valve has a cleft in it where it attaches to the ventricle, making a little hole for blood to go back in when it should only be going out. The aortic valve should have three working cusps that open and close - two of his cusps are fused together making essentially only two working cusps. This also allows a bit of blood to flow back in where it should be going out. It is called bicuspid aortic valve (I don't know the term for the clefted one). I believe the murmur can be attributed to these defects.

I was a wreck - there were tears running down my cheeks and a million things running through my head. My thoughts ranged from the angry " Why has no one caught this before?" to the worried "Am I going to be able to accurately repeat all this to Steve?" to the sheer terror of, "Will he need heart surgery and could he die?" The poor doctor spent an eternity with me, explaining that Michael's "condition," was mild, and there was no reason to panic. What parent wouldn't?

In layman's terms...the danger lies in the amount of blood that is allowed to flow back where it shouldn't. Right now Michael's heart is small. The amount of blood going backward is significant, relative to the size of his heart. This puts a strain on his heart. As he grows, his heart will become larger, but the amount of blood going backward will remain the same - causing less strain on his heart.

Apparently neither of these are uncommon defects - he sees about one child per week with this condition. It is a mild enough case to completely rule out surgery. And the average lifespan is the same as someone without the abnormality.

The cardiologist said at this age not to limit him in any way, shape or form. He can be perfectly active - participate in any sport, with no consequences or dangers to his heart. We have to schedule repeat echo cardiograms every six months to monitor the valves (we will definitely do one in the US next summer for a second opinion). Any deterioration of the condition can therefore be caught within six months, years before any symptoms would show.

Other things we have to keep an eye on:

• Using the epi-pen: the epinephrine would put a strain on his heart. If ever administered, he will need to be admitted to the hospital (not just the ER) and have his heart monitored for at least 24 hours.
• Any fainting, dizziness, unusual shortness of breath.
• As a teen, he should not be allowed to do any strenuous weight lifting or other rigorous training (again, anything that puts excessive strain on his heart)
• He will need to have antibiotics before any dental cleaning or work is done. Apparently bacteria released during these procedures can enter the bloodstream and lodge in the defective heart valves where they can infect the heart.
  

I have to tell you - even as I type and relive this, it still freaks me out. One of the valve defects apparently has been found to be an inherited condition, so you can bet your *#% that we had Jake in the office within days to check his heart. This time Steve came with me and was able to ask questions I didn't think of, as well as get the reassurance he needed too. Jake's heart was perfectly normal - in fact, the doctor used his video as a demonstration of a healthy heart to contrast with Michael's.

Those of you who really know Michael, know that he has the most compassionate heart of any kid I've ever met. His heart is bigger than he his. Yes, he fights with his brother. But when he sees someone, something even, in need - he will do anything to help them out. He is kind, giving, empathetic. It's just who he is - not anything we have taught him. Therefore, just slays me that a heart so special can have a defect.

We haven't told Michael about the defects yet - there is no reason to at this age and frankly, he would worry himself into a nervous breakdown. We ask for your discretion as well (or to put it more directly, PLEASE don't mention it to Michael - we would like to be the ones to handle it when we feel the time is right).

This has been a very long post to read - if you are still with me, thank you! I will reward you with a very funny picture of Michael - I know after this I could use a chuckle! This was taken while he was doing the 24 hour EKG (holter), which incidentally, turned out normal:

Our New Refrigerator!

Anyone who saw the pictures this spring of our new home in Dhahran knows how determined I was to replace the refrigerator! For those who didn't see it, don't recall, or have blocked the memories out (I know I try) ... here's a reminder:



I think this picture makes it look nicer than it actually is. Yes, it was clean and it worked great - too great actually. But at the risk of sounding snooty, at this stage of my life I just refuse to live long term with a small, ugly refrigerator that has wire shelves.

Steve promised me that we would get a newer one, either buying a used one that was decent, or just buying a brand new one. I didn't need anything fancy - just large with glass shelves. We waited quite a while before actually getting one, taking our time to decide if we would move the old one to the garage or keep it in the kitchen. That meant waiting for the car to arrive, and then the freezer - to see how much space there would be in the garage. Ultimately, we decided to put them side by side in the kitchen.

Anyway, here it is...



We are both so happy with it! We did have to sacrifice a cupboard above the refrigerator, but it was one that wasn't being used anyway.

I know this whole topic is terribly shallow and pathetic, but I spend a lot of time in the kitchen and if we are going to be here for the long haul, I HAVE to have something I can deal with. It's also been great to have a refrigerator dedicated completely to cold drinks.

Living in the Flight Path

I love to watch the Blue Angels. I am awestruck, my eyes transfixed on their death defying maneuvers. Once I can't see them in the sky anymore, I usually sit there trying to figure out how I could manage to take a ride in one. It's my dream to fly one, but that isn't going to happen. Riding in one might though.

On the other hand, I HATE hearing the Blue Angels. It hurts my ears. Enough said.

Our very first morning here I awoke in our new home to hear the Blue Angels. I thought I was dreaming. I kept hearing them over and over though, much beyond when I was sleepy enough to still be dreaming. More than a little alarmed at this point, naturally I asked Steve why there were fighter jets constantly flying over our house. The last time I heard similar sounds inside the house was 9/11, when we were living outside of D.C. It really wasn't a sound I wanted to hear the first morning I woke up in the Middle East!

Apparently there is a Royal Saudi Air Force base right next to our compound (which I find oddly comforting somehow), and we live right in their flight path.

Turns out, we are subjected to an unbelievable amount of low altitude flybys. I am talking about several time per hour, most of the day. If you are outside having a conversation, you literally must stop talking unless your listener can read lips - you cannot hear a single thing while the jets are in the vicinity. Inside my house even, I have trouble hearing the TV and it impacts phone conversations (though not to the point it has to stop). I am not sure if all parts of the compound have it as bad as we do. It's hard to ask people about it without sounding whiny (it's also hard to post about it without sounding whiny too - I'm sorry).

The first time I actually saw the jets, I was excited, hoping that I would see some maneuvers. Nope. They just fly over. Very fast. Very low. Very, very loudly.

During Ramadan I didn't hear them at all. They started again today. Why today, I don't know. I just know that I really didn't miss them. You know, if they would just do some cool stunts while they buzz us, it would make it more tolerable. Oh well.

Do you think they'll at least give me a ride???

Baby Steps

My friend Julia is starting a book club with six of her friends and invited me to join them. For some reason I found myself hesitating. However one thing I've learned from all the moving we've done...you don't really start making new friends or getting connected to the community until you start participating. I learned this the hard way in Michigan. I started the classes at Kalamazoo College and didn't want to overwhelm myself so I held back participating in the neighborhood or the kids' school activities. But then I found myself two years into it wishing I was plugged in better.

Then why the hesitation? There is so much to get involved in here, for adults and kids alike. We have been very careful to not over schedule our family. At the same time we DO want to be involved. We are just trying to be very selective at this point, so that we can choose the commitments that will bring us the most pleasure to be involved in with the least amount of detraction from family time.

So, a book club? I really enjoyed the book clubs I've been in before and it's a very small commitment - just one night per month. We would meet in the evenings, when the kids were in bed, or soon to be anyway. When I heard that the meetings are going to be at restaurants, well that just sealed the deal. I told Julia to count me in...I'm ALWAYS up for a Girls Night Out!

I love reading. Reading for pleasure is my favorite (especially on leisurely vacations), but I also enjoy reading to learn (I just got a book about the science of cooking - like the difference in using butter instead of shortening in cookies) and Steve would say that reading is my sleep crutch. I love mysteries, sappy easy reads (the literary equivalent of a chick flick), books that really make me ponder and question...any book really, depending on my mood. Most recently I finished "The Kite Runner," by Khaled Hosseini - a fabulous, but not light-hearted book. I've now started "The Last Chinese Chef," by Nicole Mones. Yes, book clubs are great - I'm very open to suggestions of a good book to read.

We had our first meeting last night to discuss Randy Pausch's "The Last Lecture." It was a very moving book, similar in my mind to Mitch Albom's "Tuesdays with Morrie." The just of the book is that someone is dying and imparts the wisdom they've learn to those they are leaving behind. We had a lively discussion about our childhood dreams and the things we would do differently if we knew we only had six months to live. Not one of my favorite topics though - it always makes me think about my mom and what she must have been thinking when she knew she was dying, which isn't something I like to ponder in front of other people in the middle of restaurants.

On a side note...the restaurant served it's own homemade "aged grape juice," the only place in the city (it's on another smaller compound) that serves. I was told to lower my expectations, that it's not very good "juice". But since I like cheap, bad "juice" to begin with, I thought it was great!

One more interesting thing: of the six of us last night, we held passports from the US, Poland, United Arab Emirates, Taiwan, Iran, and Egypt. How cool is that? All of them had lived in the US for varying lengths of time, and were easy to connect with. I liked Julia's friends and had a great time. (Can I start calling them MY friends now too?)

Settling in is so much more than just unpacking the boxes and establishing a routine. That's the easy part. The larger part of settling in is a series of baby steps toward getting connected in the community. You know, like the feeling that you belong, that you have friends you can count on, and that you are making meaningful contributions to the community you live in. It's a long process and quite often not easy emotionally. It's uncomfortable to be a new person, especially for the kids.

So when you ask us how the settling in is going, I'm not sure what our answer will be. It will probably vary, depending on how we feel at the moment. Our boxes are unpacked and the routine is coming along, but we're not all that plugged in yet. Don't be dismayed - just remember that it has to be baby steps. As long as we are moving forward we will get there eventually. And in the meantime, I'll always have a good book on my nightstand. Thanks ladies!